Losing Sleep over Confessions...

Book recommendations are tricky. Too many times I have had someone come to me all excited about a book that supposedly set their hair on fire, and I read it and go “Ho. Hum. I wonder if there’s a King of the Hill rerun on…”

So, I’m taking a major step out here. If you decide to read the book I’m going to recommend, and it does nothing for you, please do two things: 1. Check your pulse, and then, 2. Don’t sweat it, because as I said, we’ve all been there…

Only a couple of times in my life has a book kept me awake all night. I picked up a copy of Confessions of a Pastor by Craig Groeschel the other day. (BTW, Groeschel’s last book, Chazown, was one of those “you’ve-GOT-to-read this” deals that made me yawn, but back to that night…) I started reading it about 9 o’clock that night, and I finished it and turned off the light at 2:30 the next morning. I would have finished a little sooner, but I was frequently weeping so hard that I couldn’t see the print on the page. I started reading it again mid-morning the next day, but put it aside because I had to finish my sermon for Sunday.

I am still processing it, but I have the strong sense that God is using this book to make some foundational changes in my life and ministry.

Groeschel is pastor of the mega LifeChurch.tv in Oklahoma. The book grew out of his realization that he had become a full-time pastor and a part-time Christian, and chronicles his journey to authenticity and wholeness. The table of contents is what grabbed me…

Introduction: I Had Been Living a Lie
Chapter 1: I Can’t Stand a Lot of Christians
Chapter 2: I Have to Work Hard to Stay Sexually Pure
Chapter 3: Most of the Time I Feel Incredibly Lonely
Chapter 4: I Hate Prayer Meetings
Chapter 5: I Worry Almost All the Time
Chapter 6: Sometimes I Doubt God
Chapter 7: I Feel Completely Inadequate
Chapter 8: I Stink at Handling Criticism
Chapter 9: I’m Afraid of Failure
Chapter 10: One Last Confession

So there it is. If you read it and it speaks to your heart, let me know. If it doesn’t, well, we're still brothers and sisters.

Fallen

When the news about Ted Haggard broke on Thursday, so did my heart. I have read, referenced, and enjoyed his writings and ministry for several years. Today, we know that Brother Ted has admitted that at least “some” of the accusations are true. The whole sad, sordid story will undoubtedly play out in the media in the days and months to come.

“All have sinned,” Paul said, “and fall short of the glory of God.” Reaching for glory doesn’t mean we attain it. Ted Haggard… the pastor in his family room on the internet at one o’clock in the morning who clicks over to the porn site… the youth minister who finds himself fantasizing about sex with a girl from his youth group… The only difference among them is we would only recognize one of their names. And the only difference between us and them is that most of our sins are still hidden from everyone but God.

I have spent this morning praying, for Ted Haggard, for myself, and for my friends and colleagues in ministry. I’ve also read and re-read 1 Corinthians 10:11-13

Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Ted Haggard's life will bear the scars and consequences of whatever part of the accusations proves to be true. He also serves a God who hears our confession, is moved by our repentance, forgives, and restores. Hallelujah!

Maybe Brother Ted didn’t look hard enough or long enough for that way of escape. I pray to God that I always do.